Black woman wearing multi-colored waist beads; she is wearing Robins egg colored nail polish and her stretch marks are a focus on the photo.

Erzulie Dantor is not the one.

Mess with her children or moral code and there will be blood.

Ezili Red Eyes, a blood spilling spirit of vengeance, walks so closely with her that Ezili is thought to be a manifestation of the raw rage that Dantor represses until needed to protect or heal one of her children.
Also the most apt to accept and fulfill petitions without asking for anything but sincerity from the requestor, she appreciates being considered. Gifts left out for her, whether of much material value or little, whip the wind with her waves of pleasure.

The archetype of “strong black woman” may have come from her overwhelmingly sad story.

Once in love, the scars on her face came from her sister (first name also Erzulie but as this article is for my Dantor, the other name will be left out) during an argument over a man they were both with.

Dantor was partnered first with the man and he betrayed her by starting a relationship with her sister. Dantor found out in her face, walking in on them and the fight escalated. Her heart bleeding, without realizing it, she reached for one of the knives she always has on her body and stabbed her sister in an attempt to show her how challenging it is to breathe with a wounded heart.
Dantor’s sister removed the knife from her own body and sliced Dantor across the face – two scars are always visible, but referenced as the Three Marks. The third mark isn’t visible because her actual heart was scarred from the betrayal from both inherited and chosen family.

For all the time that the spirits have moved, Erzulie Dantor has been fiercely loving but after the heartbreak, her moral code was tightened, allowing her less room to be harmed again. Out of desperation, she threw herself to work – her job being protector of the damaged, marginalized, and lonely and the mother of the storms of war. As a mother, she was not allowed the space to grieve her own broken heart long so her healing is directly connected to those that request her help.
Chaos to her like peace to others; war is calming because there is a goal at hand and blood can fulfill it. During the ceremony that became the beginning of the Haitian Revolution, Erzulie Dantor was called. She accepted and possessed Mambo Marinette (more on her in coming pieces) helping to start what became a successful overthrowing of brutalizers and enslavers and rejection by the enslaved to continue to be considered chattel.

Once the Revolution began, Erzulie was so impressed with the Haitians that called her at Alligator Woods that she came back in physical form, knives ready, and fought alongside them.

Her next betrayal close behind since each time Dantor feels a sense of joy, pain comes to find her again.

This time, her fellow revolutionaries turned on her. Afraid if she was caught that their oppressors may be able to torture the truth from her as to how she helped them, her fellow fighters pounced on Dantor, taking her tongue out. Now, she makes a noise that people write as “ke-ke” but is the clicking of her tongue on the roof of her mouth and sounds nothing like what I can spell out.

Her youngest child called Anais sits beside or on her in most pictures – now serving as translator for those that call out to Dantor, also making it extremely easy to substitute images of Mary, mother of Jesus.

Those that know me well understand why I call to Erzulie Dantor.

 I am her, our stories so similar that I even have my own facial scar from the betrayals of love.

Words I should not know fill me when telling her stories.

Looking online will not find you many of the details that I have written in here because the information that I know of her comes from inside.
Similarly to how it was fact to me that my family was from around Houma even though the generations alive at the same time as me insist that Oklahoma was our home for generations longer than it actually was. In 2016, a friend used records databases and her search revealed that my people were in fact living in Terrebonne Parish, LA at the same time period my great grandmother through dreams already had shown me.

Consistently, pain has forced the pulsation of my heart.
Even when I want to drown, pulls from elsewhere will not allow it and as a result, death already restarted this life on several occasions. As a teenager, I came back to life during a discussion on what to do with my body and earned the nickname LadyLaz – making my affinity for partying to death and coming back to life a novelty act of sorts – even though my only specific goal was not to breathe.

For years, bitterness from the pain fueled my motions. Now that has been replaced with a fear of others becoming nihilists (that is what I think will lead to the true end of the world) and a desire to respect and protect those that Dantor does.

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ulia Walker, a 30 year old black femme from east Texas enjoys drinking tea, making mixed media collages, reading about homesteading and researching Conjure’s place in USA folklore as a way to connect the people of the diaspora.
Her job titles include non-profit founder, public speaker, babywearing advocate, cultural competency consultant, freelance writer, vegan bakery owner and unschooling facilitator to the two and four year old people she single parents since leaving domestic violence.
Julia’s activism uses her experiences as a queer black trauma survivor to attempt to build solidarity between the communities that she hasn’t felt wholly comfortable in at any point.
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